My Funny Family

Before I let you traipse around in what’s stirring my synapses, watch THIS–

Three days from now, when that starts going through your head at an inopportune moment, you can curse at me.

Anyhow, back to the action. In the midst of coming up with my kids’ show, I started somehow thinking about all the funny stories my parents told me about their respective families. Like–
–when my mom’s dad owned a bar, there was a fight, and he ended up punching my grandmother by accident.
–when my dad’s family lived in a funeral home, my uncle was driving the hearse, and there was a span of time in between two funerals. There was also a bar stay in between two funerals. Need I say more?
–When it snowed at a Christmas party, my mom couldn’t walk to the car, so my dad, several Schaefers’ heavier, said he’d carry her, picked her up, tried to put her over his shoulder, and threw her into a snowbank.
—When my dad was in the army, a few guys got in a fight. One of them, not my dad, messed up his hands pretty good. Doc patches him up, the guy says, “Will I be able to play the piano?” “Sure,” the doc says. “Funny, I never could before!” The doctor punched the guy out.
–One of my dad’s four sisters was terrified of tunnels. Once, while going through the Holland Tunnel, getting stuck in traffic, one of the other sisters hit the windshield washer, the wipers went on, there was much hilarity.
—They’re taking the hobbits to Isengard-gard-gard-gard–See? I told you!
—My uncle was on the Bunker Hill at Pearl Harbor. (That’s not the funny part.) He eventually ended up having to have both legs amputated. (STILL not the funny part.) One time, there was a wedding, so they were all sharing a hotel room. My mom said to my uncle, “Those things aren’t gonna start walking around at night, are they?” Middle of the night, my mom gets woken up by the prosthetic falling over. (Hopefully, THAT’s the funny part!)

I’m trying to think of more.


~ by Sean on July 26, 2013.

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