I was really really close on this one.


I was over at CSB yesterday, hunting up job leads. Katie and talked for a couple minutes as I looked through the books. After a couple minutes of me entering infor into the laptop, a guy walks in. He asked Katie if any of the students there might want to help him out. Turns out, there’s a horror con up the street, specifically Monster-Mania Con He’s producing a documentary, and the production company he hired(and paid, apparently!) bailed on him at the last minute. My ears perked up at that so fast I looked like either a resident of Vulcan or Lothlorien, I’m sure.

“I do production, and I have a camera,” I say, barging into the conversation. Conversation ensues over the producer viewing my demo DVD. It seems that VH1, yeah, THAT VH1, is interested in purchasing this doc. He has an interview set up with an actress  from one of the better known horror films.  (Being discreet, here.)   Could I help him out? I get all the details, sign out a lavalier microphone and extension cable from school, then commence with sprinting home to get my gear, then remembering it’d be MUCH easier if I took the car. School’s in Jersey, there’s slightly a mile or two and a river in between where I was then and my camera. I get Brian off the bus, tell him what’s happening, and he gets paper and writes me a “Good Luck Daddy, your best Pal Brian” note.  That’s going to stay in the case under the padding forever.  Okay, I pack up the case, grab a few bed sheets to use as possible backdrops as needed, then I go back to get to the hotel by five.

The hotel is on route 70 in Jersey. All of a sudden, I realize that once i’ve crossed the bridge, I’m on 73. Felgercarb. Frak. Khest. G’day”t. So, somehow, I manage to FIND 70, then with the help of one of the guys at the hotel, I find the hotel. I unpack everything, actually feeling like a professional for the first time since, well, a week before at World Cafe Live.  Still, it felt good.  So I go into the hotel and Adam’s walking across the lobby to go up to the room that the interview’s to take place in.  I try not to take personally that this suite is almost as big as my apartment.  Ah, life.

So, we talk as I unpack as to where the interview should be in the room.  It’s decided(the couch, with the drapes to the right pulled for natural light.)  We meet up with the interviewee’s manager, turns out there’s a problem with the money.  Due to a bank error, the producer couldn’t get the cash.   That’s what was agreed upon.  So, after a bit of negotiation, they agree to do the interview in the morning.  I pack up, trying not to be disappointed and/or pessimistic.  After all, it’s all set for this morning, right?

This morning comes.  Brian has off for some reason.  So, I’m going to bring him to the hotel for a couple hours, he’ll play his 3DS, draw, write, basically be the good boy he is.   So, as he’s eating breakfast, I get a message from the producer.  The whole thing’s off unless he can come up with the cash.  It didn’t happen.  I was really, really close to being part of a big-time production.  Producer had decided after talking to me and seeing my demo that he wanted me to cut the whole thing after it was all shot.   Now, this may not be a dead thing, something may still happen tomorrow, but my hopes aren’t high.  It’s weird, but the whole thing is kind of ENcouraging and DIScouraging at the same time.

Next time, make sure the producer has all the ducks in the rowboat with the tape, or whatever.

Crap.

Ready for the update?  It was apparently arranged by Tolkien and Tolstoy at a Tollbooth and is toltally, er, totally confusing.

The producer had some health problems previously.  So, in the midst of pretty much begging me for money, he says he can’t feel his face and the ambulance is coming.  Oy.   I get another text from his number around 8:00, saying “Git R Done.”  All respect to Larry the Cable Guy, but I find that phrase annoying.  Digressions aside, I send a message asking what’s happening.  I want to make sure the producer guy is okay.  I’m nice that way.  He sends back that we should just keep speaking low key.

I have NO idea what that means.

So, this morning I’m getting Brian and Stace out the door for karate, when, suddenly, the phone rings.  Ever the optimist, albeit an occasionally cranky one, I think maybe the producer got it allllllllllllllllllllll straightened out, and we’re going to shoot today.  Nuh uh.  It was the manager.  He’s still on the hook for the hotel room.  I told him I didn’t have any contact with the producer prior to Thursday and I don’t have any way to get in touch with him other than the phone number.  As we spoke, it sounded more and more like something drastic had happened at the hospital.  Turns out, the producer didn’t make it.  It’s sad, but the manager’s still on the hook for the hotel room.  I make it clear that I don’t have anything to do with the money and as much as it sucks, I can’t do anything.  Hell, I wanna get paid, too.  2500 bucks would come in handy.  So, the more the manager, who, by the way, is seriously one of the most professional and pleasant people I’ve dealt with in a long time, and I talk, the more the story seems to be falling apart.  It’s a little TOO convenient.  The manager had called the office, whereas I didn’t know there <i>was</i> an office.  No answer.  I’m beginning to be unsurprised.  We both think that if he’s NOT dead, it’s a really crappy thing to do.  I tell the manager I’ll call the number I have, see if I can find anything out.  It goes to voice mail, which I reported to the manager.  We say our goodbyes, him still on the hook for the hotel room and me out forty bucks in gas and tolls not to mention the aforementioned $2500.   If the producer IS dead, why did I get text messages from him?  Well, actually, given my experiences, texts from the dead are just a natural progression.

THEN….

The phone rings.  Again.  It’s the producer.   I want to be sure it’s him.  So, then I say, “Why is the manager under the impression that you’re dead?”  He tells me everything will be taken care of, and if I talk to the manager again, everything will be taken care of by 1:00.  He then sends me a text messsage, “You didn’t talk to me.”  I send back, “I don’t want anything more to do with this.”

Crap.

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~ by Sean on March 10, 2012.

8 Responses to “I was really really close on this one.”

  1. Hopefully it turns out to be a good opportunity and not a problem. (Sorry, but cop eyes see things like the whole thing’ being off unless someone can come up with the cash and think scam.) Good luck with it if it lands back in your lap and everything looks legit with the next try.

  2. I was perfectly willing to go along until the whole dead/ not dead thing. Even for a horror convention, there’s something a little not right with making people think you’re dead instead of just broke.

  3. Like my wife pointed out, how do we keep getting involved with these people?

  4. Yeah, that seemed odd, but I wasn’t sure how much of that bit was you humor VS actual quotes and events. It just seemed a little too odd.

  5. It all happened. At this point I’m looking around for Criswell to ask if I can prove it didn’t. If I ever turn my life into a screenplay it’ll NEVER sell, because no one will ever believe it.

  6. And still it continues. Just got a text from the manager. Someone’s updating the Facebook page. I didn’t know there WAS a Facebook page…..

  7. Everything has a Facebook page these days. It may only have five likes, but it (whatever “it” is) will have a Facebook page these days.

  8. Holy crap, you’re right. I just looked up Holy Crap, there was a picture of Burt Ward giving a thumbs up with 34,284 likes.

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