Why Wet Kids Reflect The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse


Tuesdays and Thursdays are swimming days at Brian’s camp.   They cart all the kids to a high school ten minutes from camp.  Now, Brian, being my son, has his own diving mask and snorkel.  (I HAD a snorkel until I…somebody stepped on it.)  So, Tuesdays I always go and swim with the kids.  I bring MY mask.  At least once, every one of the kids over five asks me and Brian if they can use the mask, or tell us to give them the mask, or whine that they want the mask, or whine they don’t have a mask or a cool daddy who comes swimming.  (That’s happened twice.)

Brian’s like me–occasionally generous to a fault.  He lets his pseudogirlfriends Sally and Olivia use his mask, his snorkel, his towel, get rides on my back–up to a point.  He lets his few guy friends, since there really aren’t that many guys, use his stuff–up to a point.  Then, here’s where he shows more spine than I give him credit for,  he starts taking stuff back.  Nicely if people are nice, just taking the stuff if they’re not.  If there were zombies in the water, he’d do the same thing more than likely–help those who’re not nasty and leaving the ones destined to become zombies themselves.

Then there are those who are just bad news.  Whiny, demanding, pushy, whiny–and that’s just the people that WORK there!  No, I jest.  No, those kids, Brian has no patience for.  He’ll let them get away with it once, then anything they ask, NO, GET LOST, YOU’RE NOT GETTING IT!  So, when the escape transports are getting full, I’d trust my kid to let the good ones on and leave before it got too bad.

So, when the Z’s show up, look to your kids.  Especially if there’s a pool nearby.

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~ by Sean on June 23, 2009.

One Response to “Why Wet Kids Reflect The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse”

  1. So… You’re saying that when the Zombie Armageddon hits we should be sure to let more girls into the safe haven than guys?

    The wisdom of children…

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