Day Of The Doctors


No, it’s NOT my latest horror opus.  It WAS horrifying enough, but no.

Don’r know if I’d mentioned before that Brian has nystagmus, a nervous condition where sometimes his eyes shake in their sockets.  Well, after the oh-so-I-want-to-introduce-Dr. Eye-Man-to-Dr.-Broadsword-and-Dr.-Mace appointment where the idiot doctor had the kid in tears and his loudmouth clerk ended up picking Brian’s glasses and ordering them before we could, you know, utter an opinion, we took him to his pediatricians.  They suggested we see a neurolgical opthamologist.  (How’s THAT for a triple word score?)  That was months ago.  We FINALLY got the appointment.  Unfortunately, it was at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia at 8:45 this morning. 

(Brief aside–if you’re trying to have a medical center for kids, some of whom can READ, DON’T GIVE IT THE INITIALS “CHOP”!!  PLANNING, people, it goes a long way…)

Where was I?  Oh, yeah.  We get down there, he’s way too awake and chipper for this time in the morning.  We get into the opthamology department, which ironically, at 8 in the morning, is packed.  Ah, well.  Brian had his Nintendo DS, and he talked to EVERYONE.  Found out that the woman behind us broke her arm skating.  Found out the girl next to us was 6 months old, but they were there for her brother.  We read a Star Wars book.  10:00 comes, we get called in.  Talking to the doctor, tell him that Stace is legally blind without her glasses, she got them when she was 8, he makes notes.  Gives me a strange look, like, “Wow, holy crap!” 

Brian has several eye tests, he does all right until the letters get small.  For a change, I can actually see his eyes shaking.  Doc says some stuff, then lets slip that Brian’s going to need eye drops before the rest of the tests. 
BRIAN, LIKE HIS FATHER, HATES ANYTHING NEAR HIS EYES.  INCLUDING DROPS.

So, after chasing him around the room, cartoon like, I grab him, bear hug him, hold his hands still, and keep his head from moving.  NO, it wasn’t easy.  NO, it wasn’t pleasant.  YES, Brian screamed his bloody head off as though he were being diced by a Popeil Electric Knife.  Four sets of eye drops and several frayed nerves later, we got a snack and a drink, then waited for the drops to work on his eyes. 

We get pulled back into the room.  I note that when he was born, his tonsils were three sizes too big, could THAT be having any effect on his eyes since they caused his eardrums to be two sizes too small.  Longshot, but I thought I’d mention it.  Turns out, no.  Okay, and, load of my mind time, Doc says this shouldn’t keep him from driving.  (Didn’t mention the go-karts, though.) 

Finally, we’re done, although the drops are still doing funky things to Brian’s eyes.  So much so that he couldn’t play his DS.  He ended up going to sleep until we got to McDonald’s.  Played for a while, then went to Sheil’s house to set up the camera for this weekend and make sure someone knew how to use it.  Also got to run with the puppy, get my shirt ripped, and scare the pants off Brian.  Well, the dog did. 

Eventually, it’s time for the second appointment of the day–the dreaded dentist.   We get there, wait for a while, the dentist explains things, counts his teeth, then tries to clean them.  Brian wants no part of the spinning Toothcleaner OF DOOM, just like before, so the doctor tries again.  Still no go.  So, she won’t try a third time, and says we’ll have to go to a pediatric dentist who’ll knock Brian out.

I point out that, after the last dental disaster, the insurance company said this woman was a pediatric dentist.  No, she tells me, they’re not a pediatric office. 

NOW I’m pretty mad.  At the situation.  At the fact that Brian’s just as stubborn as I am.  At the fact that it shouldn’t be this hard to get his teeth cleaned.  We leave, get comforting pizza and comforting McDonald’s Star Wars toys, and chill for the night. 

WHY, I ask you, is it that I can do all kinds of video stuff all day long and not be nearly as wiped out as one day getting medical attention for my son?  How the heck does THAT work?

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~ by Sean on August 28, 2008.

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