Internetian Experts And Opinionates


If there is one drawback to the ease of communication offered by the internet, it’s that people seem to think their ideas are lent some credence due to the fact that pixels are aligned to represent them in a way that can be seen by anyone anywhere with a modem and some time to kill. 

We just joined Netflix.  Stace got me the original Dawn of the Dead, which I’d never seen.  Out of curiousity, I wondered if there were any comparisons done by others who’d seen both.  Read through a few, then at the bottom of one, I saw a link to an anti-horror thread, saying that horror movies are little different from pornongraphy in their misogynistic tendencies and that it’s always the women who get killed etc. etc. and so on.  So, this Opinionate, as I will call her(since she identified herself as a female) said she’ll never watch a horror movie because she saw one way back when where the women got axed and it seemed like it was just a way for the guys in the audience to have some fun.  But if she won’t WATCH horror films, she’d never see anything different, WOULD she? 

Then there are the ones who give lists to explain their beliefs, the Interetian Experts.  The one I most recently read through was the Things Not To Do In A Zombie Movie.  From not having the Zs be adaptable, fast, or do anything more than in Romero’s first Dead film, he gives an extensive list.  As a storyteller, screenwriter, and horror guy, I’d look at something like that and throw it out faster than week old tunafish that’s beginning to move on its own.  If you know what to expect, ESPECIALLY in a horror story, IT AIN’T SCARY.   He took particular exception to the evolution of the Zs in Land of the Dead.  They can’t use weapons!  They can’t communicate! 
WHY THE HECK NOT? 

Now, I put this up fully cognizant of the fact that by doing so, I am actually acting as both and Internetian and an Opinionate, but hey, it’s my blog, it’s the internet, and everyone else is doing it.

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~ by Sean on April 28, 2008.

6 Responses to “Internetian Experts And Opinionates”

  1. ”From not having the Zs be adaptable, fast, or do anything more than in Romero’s first Dead film, he gives an extensive list.”

    God I hate those people. I quit frequenting most zombie boards and any IMDB board that discusses zombie films for just that reason. And I’m not being narrow minded here. Nooooooooooo. See, to be narrow minded about it, I’d have to be upset or whatnot over the fact that these people have an opinion other than my own. Not the issue. I like the Romero films and I like the films that stay true to his vision of Hell on Earth. Of course, I like the other zombie films out there as well.

    See, I love the Dawn remake every bit as much as Romero’s Dawn. I just like each for different reasons. Espousing that viewpoint will get you continually attacked on just about every board out there because it means that you don’t know anything about the genre, you’re stupid, you have no taste, etc. you’ll get your boards and your threads flamed and trolled to death by these butt-wipes and their rules “based on” Romero’s “rules” for zombie films.

    Oh, did you catch that? Did you notice those little quotes there? I put them there for a reason. What’s the reason?

    THE REASON IS THAT THOSE IGNORANT LITTLE BUTT-WIPES DON’T HAVE THE FIRST CLUE ABOUT WHAT IT IS THAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

    ”Zombies don’t run. Zombies don’t think. Zombies don’t use tools. Zombies don’t etc.,” they burble on. And why do they state these facts? Because George Romero made the modern zombie genre and only his zombies are true zombies. Well, I’ve got some problems with the butt-wipes’ world view.

    If every zombie film was forced to lock itself into “Romero’s” rules we’d have a lot of dull films after a while. Why? Because you’d just get an endless supply of bad photocopies of Romero works. And why should a filmmaker lock himself into someone else’s rules anyhow. Especially if those rules never existed.

    Go get Romero’s first three zombie films. Watch them all and take note of the zombie’s actions. They used tools and rocks to smash lights in the first film as well as using tools to stab humans to death. They showed the ability to think and reason to some level in every film. In Dawn when the survivors are looking for fuel at the airport, two zombies run at one of the survivors. In Day, Bub was learning to become almost human again. He even remembered enough of his past life that he saluted a ranking soldier. He knew how to use a gun and did so. And, more importantly, he turned away from eating humans several times. Every Romero “rule” that the butt-wipes demand that everyone adhere to in making or viewing a zombie film IS A RULE THAT ROMERO NEVER STUCK TO HIMSELF!!!

    Besides, Romero didn’t follow the rules. His zombies, in part because he never meant for them to be zombies, have nothing in common with the film zombies that came before his. He later tweaked them and called them zombies since everyone else was, but they weren’t zombies as much as they were ghouls plucked in part from I Am Legend. Why lock yourself into just being/watching Romero and Romero clones when doing what he did (being a little creative) might let you make the next big horror creature?

    Stupid friggen butt-wipe morons.

  2. Yeah, what HE said!

  3. First, in the audio production, never is the Z word used. Ghouls, yes, zombie, NO. It’s also interesting for the differences in Ben’s character, but that’s a discussion for another time.

    The one thing that really gets me about any of the Romero films, (including parts of Creepshow) the Raimi films. any really good horror piece, whatever the medium, is the sense that the characters, and through them, YOU are not safe. That’s why all the best films pay more attention to the antagonistic set up than the protagonist. So many characters in horror movies are called cookie cutter not due to lack of creativity but because the filmmakers, authors, artists want you to identify with them so the story hits home more. One of the things Romero did right–nothing was explained. A threat understood is no longer a threat.

  4. Wait…

    There was an audio version of NotLD? When? Where? How much $$$$$?

    And the “Z word” is never mentioned in the NotLD films either. Romero didn’t even think of them as zombies until the rest of the world gave them that name.

  5. Where’s Brother Mulligan in this thread?

  6. To answer your questions in reverse order–I don’t know, and http://www.amazon.com/Night-Living-Dead-John-Russo/dp/0743539508
    So, there you have it.

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